Comedy Network

What is an Oxymoron?

An oxymoron is a combination of contradictory or incongruous words such as "military intelligence."

The attached list is the beginning point of collecting examples of a person, place, or situation that best exemplifies the oxymoron phrases.

If you have any contributions, please let me know. This isn't a formal Delphi process but your suggestions are welcome.

Colleen 5/30/86

OXYMORONS

  1. Same difference - Reorganization or Jerry Falwell and the Ayatollah Khomeini.
  2. Devilishly good - Having Twinkies for dinner or words like "In the consumer's best interest".
  3. Instant immortality - Having your photo taken with Joel Levy from Young Adult Institute.
  4. Constant change - Case management.
  5. Near misses - Individualized program plans.
  6. Routine emergencies - Weekends and holidays.
  7. Subtly obvious - Solid Gold dancers as advocates at an IEP meeting.
  8. Anarchists, unite - Congress in action in passing a bill or DD advocates testifying together.
  9. Pretty ugly - Refrigerettes for Chicago Bears.
  10. Jumbo shrimp - Human services wage scales or Mickey Rooney.
  11. Plastic glasses - What Nancy Reagan views the world through.
  12. Standard deviation - Living in San Francisco or "good management".
  13. Flat curve - The agony of adolescence.
  14. Constant variables - Official Washington, DC, positions and plans.
  15. Deliberate speed - When outsiders try to help families who need respite care or committee meetings.
  16. Minor milestone - Any child after your first or getting a budget increase.
  17. Ill health - HMOs.
  18. Civil war - Sitting in meetings with more than one state agency.
  19. Even odds - Likelihood of getting help you need; marriage.
  20. Unbiased opinion - School psychologists presenting results of tests.
  21. Oddly Normal - Cheech and Chong as group home parents.
  22. Original copy - Rich Little.
  23. Barely dressed - When social workers arrive for the first interview.
  24. Serious humor - Soap operas.
  25. Full-time hobby - Getting forms completed.
  26. New tradition - Crew cut with styling mousse or the second annual conference on any topic.
  27. Relative stranger - Two-career families.
  28. Seductive innocence - Federal Register; RFP grant instructions.
  29. Planned serendipity - Cancelled meetings.
  30. Closet exhibitionist - Rock Hudson.
  31. Old news - Annual Reports or Goldfish swallowing college students or model programs.
  32. Dead issues - Monthly committee reports or major portion of AAMD meetings.
  33. Organized leisure - An individualized program that stressed 60% accuracy in jumping skills on 3 successive trials.
  34. Soft sell -The best consultants.
  35. Working vacation - A tax write-off.
  36. Quiet noise - People at the back of a meeting.
  37. Unbiased research - Mine, not yours.
  38. Useful research - Any research not published.
  39. Temporary housing - Barracks built for WWI and still in use.
  40. Reagan cheerleaders - Appointees proudly giving good news about budget cuts.

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